The first thing most people say to me is some version of: "I don't even know if what's happening is bad enough."
If you're asking that — something is happening. The question is what it actually is.
Here's what I want you to understand. "Hostile work environment" means something very specific — and what it means on paper is not the same as what it feels like when you're living it.
Your manager is making your life miserable. You're being left out, talked over, passed over. It feels hostile. It might even be hostile. But feeling that way and being able to do something about it are two different things. The bar is higher than most people expect — and not knowing that is exactly how people end up in a bad position.
Here's what I actually see happen.
Someone is going through something real. But because they're not sure it's "bad enough," they don't write anything down. No dates. No details. No record of who was in the room or what was said. They try to just get through it. And then months later when they're ready to do something — there's nothing to work with.
I also see the flip side. Someone is convinced they have a clear-cut situation, and what they're describing is genuinely awful — but they haven't thought through what they actually have or what their options are. That's not a reason to do nothing. It's a reason to get clear first.
Either way — understand what's happening, document it, and know your options before you move.
If something doesn't feel right, start writing it down today. Dates. What was said. Who was there. Keep it somewhere that has nothing to do with your job.
And if you need someone to look at what you have and help you figure out what you're actually dealing with — that's what I'm here for.
